Jack woke up from the sound of raindrops on the bus window. He blinked to the light of the headlights of the car driving opposite and looked at the wet asphalt, then the naked field. Somewhere behind he heard the thunder of a storm. The band’s bus and the storm were racing with each other for a few hours, but at the last moment, just before the storm caught the bus, it managed to slip away.
He had no idea where around the world they were. He just knew they were away from his hometown and in a little less than 12 hours he was going to make hundred of fans happy with his voice.
Jack liked music. He would put everything he had in it, even his most private emotions. But for some time things were not going well. He slept very little and every time he tried to write, nothing good came. His thoughts were overwhelmed by a beautiful strange girl that came to him at night, in dreams. He didn’t know who she was or where she was… he had never seen her live. He pressed his forehead to the cold glass and closed his eyes. The rain was soothing. He saw her again, in her nightgown dancing in the rain and smiling at him… the headlights of the cars hid her for a moment and when she showed up again everything was different.
It was a dream, but everything was real. Jack felt her skin touching his, he smelled the scent of her fiery red hair, he saw her sparkling green eyes. He gave to his dream wholly, though he wanted to sleep without dreaming.
- Are we ready?
- You bet!
He smiled. He could hear the fans screaming their names in the hope they would see their idols sooner. He put his thoughts together, put them as far away from her as he could.
- Let’s go then.
The lights were blinding. Jack could barely see the audience. He didn’t like it when he didn’t have contact with them, the magic was gone… he knelt in the middle of the stage in hope that he would escape the lights at least a bit and dive into the darkness, see his fans. And his stare fell on her. The girl from his dreams. She smiled warmly, he smiled back and for a second it seemed to him she blew him a kiss. Jack stood up and she was hidden again.
The band was in the country for the first time, despite most of their fans were from there. They had a surprise for the audience.
- And now it’s time for something we decided to do as a tradition when we go to a country for the first time. Two of you, lucky guys, will be selected to spend tomorrow with us and show us around… - his words were lost in the screaming crowd. – I will come down to you and pick two people. The rest, I’ll meet you after the gig for autographs.
He put the mic on the stand and climbed down in the small space between the stage and the fences. He walked end to end, shook hands with fans, even signed a few CDs. And he was smiling, but not because of the attention he got, but because of her. Because he knew she was there and he was going to spend tomorrow with her.
Someone gave him a paper. He looked who and saw the green eyes from his dreams. Smiled and leaned to her. He hugged her almost unconsciously. He felt her hands on his back and her chest pressed to his. He whispered in her year “You’re the first.”, kissed her lightly on the cheek and walked away. He chose another girl, that started crying when he hugged her and didn’t stop until the end of the gig.
The rest of the gig passed for what seemed a moment. Jack didn’t remember the interview, or the countless pictures he took with fans, or the signed CDs and shirts, or even the little blond girl that told him she loved him. He remembered just her. Her eyes. Her smile. Her hands.
- Jack, they’re waiting for you.
- Coming, just a minute.
He signed a few more CDs, took a picture with two girls and then turned and walked back to the room, to her. The hall, at the end of which was the door, seemed endless. Time stopped, as if it wanted to torture him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Smelled her perfume. Opened his eyes. A step, just a step. He heard her laugh. An angelic laughter. Naïve like a child. Pure. Her laughter.
Jack went in the small room where the rest of the band, their manager and photographer were along with the two girls. He smiled at them and sat down.
- So you’re the lucky ones. We just need to settle some things about...
The words got lost. The room sank in darkness. There was just darkness and her body. Him and her. Darkness. A smile. He reached his hand out. She did too. They almost touched. Another smile. Just a little more…
- Jack!
He shook his head.
- Sorry, I’m tired from the trip and the gig. The audience was amazing. – he winked at the two girls and they giggled happily. – So, you’re going to show us around tomorrow. You have whole day. I’m Jack, by the way.
Everybody laughed. That laughter again. Naïve, pure, angelic.
- I’m Jesse. – she held her hand out to him. – Nice meeting you.
- I… I… I’m… uhm…
- Hey, we don’t bite, don’t worry. – the guitarist said and every one laughed again.
- I’m just nervous. I’m Lily. Nice to finally meet you guys.
Jack shook her hand, but his eyes were blind to everything except her. Her magical eyes. Sparkling. The black lining made them look even more amazing. Her lips curved in a warm smile.
The manager explained Jesse and Lily the schedule for tomorrow, told them what time they have to leave to be on time for the next gig, gave them the passes they needed, wished them good night and walked them to the door. He closed it behind them and turned to the band.
- Jack, what’s wrong with you? You don’t seem to be yourself tonight.
- Mhm.
- Do you hear me?
- Mhm.
- And can you say something different than “mhm.”?
- See you at the hotel. – he jumped off his chair, took his jacket and went out of the room.
Jesse went out of the club, arranged what time to meet with Lily tomorrow morning, said goodbye and walked her with a stare. Winter, Jesse was with a top, her jacket hanging on her purse. She took the pass out of it. Read it again.
The band name, the date, the time, the place.
The band name, the date, the time, the place.
It seemed unreal. She dreamt of meeting them for years
The band name, the date, the time, the place.
- I would say it’s better to put it away before some crazy fan beats you to get it.
She looked to the door. Jack was standing there with that smile she loved and which she dreamt of seeing live. She smiled.
- No way.
- You haven’t met a crazy fan, have you? Believe me, after what happened tonight you are being hated globally.
They both laughed.
- I guess not everyone can have what they want.
- Tell it to them… - he looked at her face and sank in her eyes.
Jesse was looking Jack in the eyes. The deep blue eyes. The eyes she dreamt of not once. The eyes that watched her last night, just before the rain started tapping on her window.
- Why are you here?
- I guess… I wanted to talk with you.
- Why didn’t you do it when we were inside?
- Overcrowded. Are you going home?
- In fact, I am… unless you plan on inviting me on a romantic candle lit dinner and then take me to your hotel room and make wild love to me… - she took a few steps toward him. – That’s how rock stars do it. – then she laughed. He laughed too. – Okay, maybe they miss the romantic part, but the idea is the same.
- Can I walk you to somewhere?
She shrugged.
- You can walk me to the apartment door, if you like – she smiled. – Shall we go?
Jack nodded and they went.
- Where are you going to take me tomorrow?
- I take it you mean where are WE going to take YOU tomorrow… we were thinking to take you…
- I meant where are you going to take me. You and me.
Jesse looked at him. He smiled.
- I thought it was US taking YOU around town.
- At least a coffee before we go. Please. I’m buying. – that smile, the one Jesse loved, was on his face.
- Coffee. 7 am.
- My room?
She stopped and looked at him suspiciously.
- Should I buy or do you have some in your room?
- I was thinking we would just talk, but if you want we can skip the first few dates and head to the physical part.
She laughed.
- I think I liked the coffee and talk plan more. This is where I live. – Jesse stopped in front of the door. – Thanks for walking me.
- For nothing. So tomorrow I wait for you at 7 with coffee?
- Make it a cappuccino.
- You have it. – Jesse smiled. He smiled back.
- I’ll call you a cab to the hotel. It’s late you need to get some sleep. – she took her mobile out and dialed a number. She called a cab in front of her building, thanked and hung up. – Cab will be here in 5 minutes. You want me to come wait with you?
- No, thank you. You did enough tonight.
He hugged her for goodbye. Felt her breathe on his neck. Felt her cold skin pressed to his. Felt her lips gently touching the corner of his. Felt her slipping away from his embrace.
- So tomorrow at 7. And don’t forget, cappuccino, not coffee.
- Cappuccino, not coffee. Sure. 7.
- That’s right. Good night.
- Good night.
He walked down the stairs and heard the lock clicking twice, then the door opened, closed and the lock clicked twice more.
Jesse stood to the window. She saw him get in the cab. She wanted to run downstairs, to run after the cab. To ask him home to warm up. To taste the corner of his lips, the lips. 7 am. The hotel room. A talk.
She poured herself a glass of vodka and drank it. She went for a quick shower and fell asleep right after on the couch. Woke up an hour later. Still 3. She sighed and tried to fall asleep again. The yes. The corner. What taste did his lips have? The smile. The eyes. The corner. The eyes. The smile. The lips. The eyes. The corner. The eyes…
Jack went into his room. Her eyes, her smile, her lips slightly touching his. He lay on the bed and imagined what he would say to her tomorrow. He soon fell asleep.
6:00. Two alarm clocks rang in two sides of town.
He opened his eyes.
She opened her eyes.
He got up an looked at his reflection.
She went in the batch room.
He went out of the room.
She put her shirt on.
He came back with coffee and cappuccino.
She locked the door from the outside and walked down the stairs.
He went in the bathroom.
She got in the cab.
He was dressing
She showed her pass to the girl on the desk.
He was sitting on the bed.
She was walking down the hallway.
617, 619, 621. She knocked. He looked to the door. Took a deep breath and opened. Jesse met him with a smile.
- Good morning! I hope you got what I wanted. – she entered the room, put her bag on the bed and took the cappuccino cup. – You’re amazing.
Jack smiled and took his cup.
She turned to him and hugged him. Felt his lips seeking hers. She pulled back a little. The eyes. The corner. What will they taste like? Smile. The eyes – the lips – the eyes – the lips. What taste? He leaned slightly and touched her lips with his own.
Jack locked his room and walked towards Jesse. They took the lift. They didn’t look at each other. She turned to the small mirror in the lift. He saw tears in the reflection.
Lily was walking next to Jack, in front, and was talking passionately. Jesse was behind them, walking slowly, hidden everything behind the black sunglasses.
- I’ve never seen him like this. – the guitarist said. – I’ve known him for years and I’ve never seen him like this. Obsessed. In love. Why?
- Because I can’t leave my life for him, no matter how much I want it. He’s a rock star, he travels, meets so many people, I won’t be able to bare the thought that someone else is holding him.
- And you’re going to kill him for that?
- Everything fades sooner or later.
She smiled a bitter smile and walked to Jack and Lily. He looked at Jesse and she smiled. A fake smile. She couldn’t smile a real one. Fake or none at all. She didn’t want to show him her tears. She didn’t know he already saw them. Her hand hit his lightly and her little finger caught his. She smiled again. Almost a real smile.
Lily took a picture with the band. Then asked for autographs. Hugs. The last. Goodbye. Jesse hugged everyone. She followed them with a stare while they got on the bus. Jack was the only one still standing there.
- Go. I don’t want to keep you.
He took her by the chin and lifted her face. Two damp black cuts ran through it. He smiled. A fake smile. He couldn’t smile a real one. Fake or none at all. He swallowed his own tears and hugged her.
Her body started shaking in his arms. She backed and took her glasses off. She was crying. She couldn’t hide the tears. He smiled. Almost a real smile. Swallowed again. And again. And again. Tears came to his eyes.
Two stares, the sparkling green and the deep blue, met. She stood on her toes and kissed him. Her lips touched his, at first gently, slightly felt, then as if two lovers were saying goodbye.
He went on the bus.
She put her glasses on.
He swallowed.
She swallowed.
He smiled. A real smile.
She put her fingers to her lips and blew a kiss.
He did the same.
She smiled. A real smile.
“…but when you’re reading this letter I would probably be in a different place, somewhere around the world. Know that I always keep with me the memory of two beautiful green eyes, forever in me.
P.S.: I love you.
Jack”
Jesse smiled. His eyes. His smile. The corner of his lips. Their taste…
15.04.2008 - 28.08.2008
Replica
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Warrior Soul
Winterheart Guild had gathered. In fact, a guild was a hard thing to say - four people, believed to control seasons. Most people considered Autumn, Winter, Summer and Spring for a myth, for they were looking as anyone else.
Autumn was an old man in a long, blue robe. His beard and hair were waist-long. He always had a staff which most people thought for a stick to keep wolves away. In fact it was quite the opposite - with it, he always had two wolves following him. Guarding him, as if guarding a brother.
Winter was a beautiful woman in a light gray dress and long brown hair. She never spoke much and when she needed to say something, she said it more with her piercing blue stair than with words.
Spring was the most beautiful of all. A young woman, not more than thirty, wearing fairy dresses in gentle pink, white or blue shades. She had wonderful wings, butterfly-like, but visible just for the guilt.
Summer, dressed in bright yellow clothes, was radiating the might of fire. Long black hair was cascading down his shoulders almost ti the middle of his thigh.
It was time. The four felt that soon something important is going to happen. Something that would have a say on the events in the next few ages. Winter started first.
Autumn was an old man in a long, blue robe. His beard and hair were waist-long. He always had a staff which most people thought for a stick to keep wolves away. In fact it was quite the opposite - with it, he always had two wolves following him. Guarding him, as if guarding a brother.
Winter was a beautiful woman in a light gray dress and long brown hair. She never spoke much and when she needed to say something, she said it more with her piercing blue stair than with words.
Spring was the most beautiful of all. A young woman, not more than thirty, wearing fairy dresses in gentle pink, white or blue shades. She had wonderful wings, butterfly-like, but visible just for the guilt.
Summer, dressed in bright yellow clothes, was radiating the might of fire. Long black hair was cascading down his shoulders almost ti the middle of his thigh.
It was time. The four felt that soon something important is going to happen. Something that would have a say on the events in the next few ages. Winter started first.
- They say the prophecy is true. More and more signs say that it will happen soon.
- Which of the many prophecies, Winter? - asked Spring, while fixing her dress.
Winter eyed her with her cold eyes. She turned away from the fire, back to every one and said quietly:
- "Somewhere within the darkest moors, between black cliffs like the Devil's teeth a child will be born, with a warrior heart. Son of the stars, of ice and flame, he will walk the earth. With pride in his step and an iron will and a mind sharp as a Demon blade."
- And we should worry about that because? - Summer said, while playing with a tiny ball sun rays.
Winter turned her stare to him.
- You know that in this land even the ice winds can lead to madness. It is important that he finds something to fight for that will keep him on the side of the Light.
She closed her mouth and sat on the ground, among the fallen leaves. Autumn stood up and started walking slowly around the fire.
- There is more of the prophecy. Winter didn't say it, probably never even heard it. Prophecies are always divided and given to different creatures. It would be harder to have the whole prophecy and use it for your well-being. "Deep within the shadows of the woods, among the beasts that dwell in the darkness, a child will be born - daughter of the Night and the rising moon. She will run like the wind and in her heart - the secret powers of her elders." She is the key to keep the boy. We have to make them meet.
- They are still not born - Spring noted.
- Not yet. But they will be soon. Winter, look after the boy. Spring, you take the girl. I and Summer are going to make sure we make the two warriors meet... no matter what the cost.
***
A woman, not more than twenty was standing on the edge of the cliffs. She was looking up to the stars, admiring the Northern Lights. She stroke her belly.
- Soon, my son, you will see the light of day. And then, Ilija, everyone will honor you.
***
Ilija was walking proudly in the village. Handsome young man, he was famous for his sharp mind. Women of every age and status thought him to be the most handsome man there ever was. Ilija was barely twenty, but did things about which even mighty warriors that came through the land never dreamed of. His will was tested many times and had never failed him. For twenty years Spring was looking over him, saving his life not once or twice, but doing it only when he was really in need. Most of the times he dealt with trouble himself.
He barely ever spoke. Sitting in the house's garden, sharpening his blade and practicing seemed much more appealing to him. Ilija wanted to master the sword perfectly, to feel it as a part of himself, from his arm and not like a weapon or a burden.
***
She was running in the forest. Only light came from the Northern Lights were. Running from the beasts. Her face was scratched. The child had to survive. She found a small cave and stopped there.
Years later Luna was running in the forest. Her clothes were scant, but not this, nor the cold was stopping her. She had to overtake the hind and kill it if she wanted food tonight. Luna mastered the blade perfectly, feeling it as part of herself. She was eighteen, but as a fighter she was no match for anybody. She had a warrior soul and her heart was caring the wisdom of her elders, though she didn't knew even her mother. Winter was pacing slowly after her, watching with her piercing eyes.
***
- Good. Now all that is left is to meet with one another, Winter.
***
News of a forthcoming war reached the small village quickly. Ilija was sharpening his blade. He was going to go to war. And win it. Because he had a warrior soul.
Luna was preparing for war as well. She had decided that even alone, she was going to win this war.
The guild was watching their lives. They knew that just now was the best time for the two to meet. Winter smiled at herself - Luna had turned into a stunningly beautiful, smart and quick-witted woman, which was fighting for her life all the time and was ready to have hers at whatever price. Winter knew the only thing missing in Luna's life were friends. Every one of Winterheart thought Ilija was going to become her friend. The two of them - the Son of the Stars and the Daughter of the Night, as they called them - were the ones to set the course of events from now on. They were going to face each other and after realizing they both had a warrior soul, they were going to become friends.
***
Ilija was fighting tireless. Months had rolled since he went to war. Thousands of people were killed or mortally wounded. Hundreds known faces were looking at him with their empty dim stare after every fight. People he was fighting with side by side minutes ago. Every night he thanked Ukko for sparing his life and every morning he started with a pray to him. He believed that the North Star was going to keep him and lead him home.
Luna was one of the few women that went to war and men often laughed for her expense that she couldn't even lift the sword. Mocks were quickly ended after her blade ended set on someone's neck seconds later. The only thing that stopped Luna from killing them was that people were few, they could not endure the cold and most of them were untrained.
***
A few hours later the field was red with the spilled blood. Bodies all over. Luna's hair was stuck on her back and forehead. She was still fighting. Surrounded by four men, each of them at least twice her size. Ilija was watching with interest a few yards from them. He couldn't believe that there was someone on this earth that mastered the sword even as half as good as he did, and Luna was doing it more than perfectly - every step perfectly measured, every move accurate. Ilija was amazed. Two men were already on the ground breathless. Ilija smiled. He had to try her out himself. She seemed not much older than him, but her skills were astounding. Luna twisted her blade and it went in the third's heart. The fourth attacked her, but she was quicker, pulling her sword out of the dead man and piercing his belly. He fell on the snow. His surprised stare at her.
Luna smiled and threw aside a lock of hair from her eyes and sighed victoriously. Ilija looked at the blade in his hand. Looking at Luna, he decided the time was right to test her.
- So... you think you can kill four of my best men just like that and walk away? - he sounded annoyed - Prepare to pay for it, bitch!
Luna turned around and looked Ilija.
- And you obviously think you can call me a bitch and walk away. Son of a bitch!
She jumped towards him. Their swords dancing a deathly dance. They were attacking fiercly and sparks set off the squeaking blades. Ilija drove her attacks away with ease and even let himself smile ironically while warding off an attack that would have taken his head off.
- Is that all you can? - he smiled and a moment later a narrow red cut appeared on his cheek. Just then, he realized that the battle was going to be even. She was really good with the blade, he should be more careful with her. He had underestimated her...
Luna was not waiting time paying attention to his lines. She had learned long ago that the battle was not a competition and she was trying to kill him before he killed her. He was a serious opponent, warding off every attack, even foreseeing her next step. She was doing the same, but it didn't lead her to the so wanted victory. If the battle was prolonged, they were going to get tired, and a tired warrior made mistakes easily while trying to end it faster.
- So you're trying to kill me? - she said while warding off his attack.
- Not exactly. But your skills got my attention. I didn't believe that...
He looked at his arm - a new cut appeared, a little above his wrist. He looked at Luna and she smiled at him.
- That someone mastered the sword better than you?
- Exactly. - he stood up and attacked again.
- Obviously there is. - she hit his hand with the blade and he dropped his. Her sword was set on his throat. - Now do you believe it?
- No.
He took her by the leg and pulled her down. Luna fell, but the sword was still in her hand. For a second Ilija bent and had his. Luna hit his leg with the handle of her sword. Ilija fell to his knees. His blade millimetres away from her throat, her blade - millimetres away from his.
- Who will win?
- Warrior soul.
- What?
- You have a warrior soul. Few are the people who have one, even fewer are the women with one.
- I was born under the Northern Lights and all my life I have hardened my soul and will...
- ...to be the best. I did the same. I never believed there was someone that could fight half as good as I can.
- Neither did I.
Ilija smiled and took his sword down. Luna did the same, but she was still ready to ward off an attack from him.
- Maybe we met for a reason.
- The North Star tells us the war is not right.
- So with ending our fight we end the war?
- This one, yes. But there are a thousand more we have to fight. We have warrior souls and in this dark we must find our own way. And though we know that the winding path will lead us to the grave, we will go on. We still have battles left to fight. We must keep our pride until the end of our time.
He looked her head to toe.
- So we are going to look for that path from now on?
Luna nodded. She got up and held out her hand to him.
- Luna
- Ilija. - he took her hand and stood up as well. She was barely reaching his shoulder in height and he wondered how could she master the sword.
***
Autumn was watching the two warriors.
- Warrior soul blazes through the land of frost and snow. Their pagan hearts and flesh built to endure the cold. With a warrior soul unto death against all foes they will fight. They are born under the Northern Lights...
14.03.2007 - 20.03.2007
Replica & Rand
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Night Of The Wolf
The full moon was rising. A girl, not more than twenty, was watching the moon from the window. She could taste the sweet pain of the Transformation. The door behind her opened and in the dark room, an obscure figure entered. He stood behind her. She held her hand up and locked fingers with his.
- Are you ready? - he asked.
- Not more than I am at every full moon from four years till now.
Nia turned her stare away from the moon and looked at him. His eyes flashed in fierce and a smile came on his face. She smiled and looked at the moon again. Tuomas lit a cigarette.
- Your last before the Transformation?
Tuomas just nodded.
Pain pierced Nia. She squeezed his hand and wriggled. If someone could see her now, he would maybe think she's dying. But Nia was, in fact, born anew. Tuomas put out his cigarette and bent over Nia. He was studying the Transformation with interest, watching as if it was the first time he ever saw something like that, while he himself was used to it. He was used to agony and pain when the human in him was dying and the wolf was awaking. Nia lifter her head and looked at him with her last strength:
- To live is to love the pain...
- Pain is temporary, Nia.
She smiled a bitter smile, then every muscle of her body went slack. Her skin became white and Nia was looking like a dead man. She was lying there, breathless, cold and pale... just lying.
Tuomas let her hand go. He locked the door and by the time he got back where Nia was, he felt the well-known pain. He smiled and thought "Here we go..."
He fell on his knees. Wriggled. Minutes later his body was next to Nia's. They were lying - cold, indifferent to the world around them, their empty glass stares were roaming somewhere out, probably in the moon.
***
They awoke in ten minutes. Tuomas blinked a few times to the moon light and his eyes became yellow and fierce.
- Nia...
She turned her face to Tuomas. She grinned and her jaw became longer, looking like a muzzle. Her eyes became the same as his. She felt her hands and feet turning into paws. She looked at Tuomas and saw the same happening with him.
- Tuomas... it's time.
For every human being, those words would've sounded more like a quiet howl of a lone wolf. But they were just that - children of the night, victims of the moon, Reborn.
They jumped on their feet and found their way out of the house into the boundless forest. Here and there under the trees there was a moonlit clearing. They looked at each other. They lifted their heads up, to the sky, to their curse and destiny and howled.
More howls answered and seconds later more Reborn came from the shadows. Every one of them was different - Nia was the only black wolf, Tuomas the only white. The first that came to them were a wolf in rusty color and one in gray.
Nia looked at Tuomas. They knew. It was time. The Night of the Wolf. The Night of the Reborn. Their night. Now or never. Nia howled to the moon once more and led the two wolves into the forest. Tuomas waited a few more wolves and led his pack in a different direction.
Reborn ruled tonight. The moon drained them, but it also gave them strength. She made them suffer, but to be happy too. She made them forget themselves, but remember who they are too.
***
Nia was running through the forest. She felt the wind in her fur, the soil and leaves under her paws... she felt the power of the moon. She knew that in some other part of the forest Tuomas felt the same. This was one of the few things that connected them - their love for the moon, for the Reborn, for the nature. This and the strength to help each other when they needed it. Nia didn't know for how long she was running, but when she looked up to howl at the moon, she saw the sky was growing lighter. She knew it was time to go home.
***
Tuomas was home for a long time. he was wondering where Nia is. She never came late. He was pacing the room, making circles nervously. He felt her scent and went in that direction. His white fur was gleaming in the silver moon light and Tuomas looked like a ghost, headed to the shadows, just to vanish in them. He was heading to Nia.
He found her on the floor, wounded.
- Can you heal the pain when you call my name? - she was transforming to a human again and held out a half-human hand to Tuomas.
He looked at her wound. Deep, deadly. He howled in pain then lowered his head to Nia's and whimpered, as if whispering:
- I'll be there, even when you bleed. In the Night of the Wolf. See the moon, see the stars... in the Night of the Wolf. They are ours, Nia. I won't leave you.
***
Hours later Nia regained consciousness. She could clearly remember being wounded. Deadly wounded. Tuomas took care of her. She went out of the bed. Tuomas was there, the same place she saw him before they both went in the forest - leaning on the back of the chair, his stare wondering somewhere outside.
- In this crazy world you proved that you are mine. Proved that I can count on you.
- I'll be there, even when you bleed Nia. In the Night of the Wolf. Always.
Replica
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Under Your Tree
The leaves were falling, lonely. It seemed to her they were covering the memories and not the ground. It seemed to her his eyes were looking at her again. His voice echoed in her head. She closed her eyes and leaned on the tree.
She remembered those nights... the last she spent with him. Those nights when he was sleeping in her arms and she was guarding his sleep. The fears down deep stirred. "What if you don't ever see him again? What if you don't have the chance to tell him? What if he laughs at you?"
She looked at the rising sun. For a moment she wished he was there, next to her. Then the wish went away and tears and desperation came in its place.
- There's nothing good in this morning. - she turned her head away. - Why did it have to go this way? I'm tired, I can't go on anymore... I don't have strength...
She remembered those nights... the last she spent with him. Those nights when he was sleeping in her arms and she was guarding his sleep. The fears down deep stirred. "What if you don't ever see him again? What if you don't have the chance to tell him? What if he laughs at you?"
She looked at the rising sun. For a moment she wished he was there, next to her. Then the wish went away and tears and desperation came in its place.
- There's nothing good in this morning. - she turned her head away. - Why did it have to go this way? I'm tired, I can't go on anymore... I don't have strength...
Memories flooded her mind. It was as if they were competing which will make her suffer more. And all were with him. All of a sudden everything went quiet... a small voice deep inside her started whispering: "You found a warm heart. Heart, that will welcome you. Trust your desires. Let him find shelter under your tree. Let him stay here. He always liked this place. Let yourself belong to him. Let this place belong to him."
- One day, when everything was falling apart like a snowflake on my palm, you gave me your heart and stole mine. But is your heart mine? Will I ever have the strength to tell you how much I love you... will you have the strength to answer me back?
26.05.2007
Replica
Caleb
Carla sat in front of the piano. She looked at the people in front of her, at a young man in particular. He smiled at her and she smiled back. Then her fine long fingers slipped over the piano keys and played a beautiful melody. Carla closed her eyes and sang in almost a whisper: "There's a man in this world who has never smiled. You may know his tragedy, in the later years, by heart. In the beginning there was a mother, father and a child - a troubled little silent boy, whose life they were to destroy. Known to us from this day on, like his father - Caleb."
The man closed his eyes. He remembered a conversation he had years ago with his mother. He barely understood what she spoke about back then, but now... it still wasn't everything, but understood a big part of it. Then he remembered his father. The only time he ever heard his father apologizing to someone... he remembered how his father turned his head every time something was wrong. He remembered the last words he heard from his father before he died - "And all this are words that are not meant to hurt you, but kill you, my stupid son!" Then he remembered how he smiled secretly while his father's body was lowered in the grave. His mother told him, in tears, that a person can make a difference sometimes.
Carla kept on playing the gentle melody while telling the story farther. "All his solutions, it seemed, were only problems in disguise... glueing on his drinking face and he got ready to erase another day."
"Remember, my son, at the end of every tunnel there's a little light." Those words, his mother shared with him in hope that everything would be fine one day. A few days later he heard her talking on the phone saying "He can fulfill his every dream... I’m happy as long as he’s not." Then he dreamed. He let himself spent one afternoon outside, on the bench in front of the house, dreaming how one day his mother would be dead.
"He went out, played with thunder and then stood under that apple tree where the snake let him feed on lost hopes..."
"Somehow... I lost one more way back home..." He remembered the day when he went in the lake with his boat. He imagined that in the middle there is a huge monster and started rowing towards it. Slowly, while his child's hands were barely holding the oars he thought that the monster was in fact hos mother. A beast, a sinner, right for so few things. He thought that just the past had made him blind to the way he turned the pain into a way of life.
He came back to here and now.
"He was a portrait of a man his mother drew to hate forever..."
He remembered that day when he understood it's all a charade and his mother wanted to keep it until the end. He could not take any more pain from the past and felt anger building up in him. Over the hills, under the sea, if needed, with will itself, with the whole Universe, He would fight. Everything around him sank in total darkness. All that was left were the pale outlines of the few people left to listen to Carla. He looked around the room and saw the sword on the wall.
A few quick steps and he was there, took it off the stand. He felt the cold metal in his hand and in minutes everyone were lying dead on the ground. He was covered in blood.
- When nothing moves, all's so still... - he faced the blood-covered white-lacquered piano and saw Carla. She froze in her place, her hands still on the keys. Her face was white, her glass eyes staring at his. - Carla, darling... have I not told you never to sing this song?
He aimed a blow and stopped the sword inches away from her neck. She screamed and started crying.
- Why?
- ...dried up flowers are so beautiful. That applies for all things - living and dead. This necessary evil has no heart, Carla. His hand stroke. Blood splashed on the white and black keys and the wall behind.
- Because this is my story... I am Caleb.
"Flowers and people - he will now enlace. The price he must pay serving his whatevergod..."
She closed the piano and walked to him. Smiling. He took her hands and they got out of the room.
- The last words you sang were truly right. - he caught her by the neck and before she even realized what was happening, he was already strangling her. - Too bad you won't be able to pass them on.
She was looking scared at his eyes.
- Who... are.. you?
- I am Caleb. This is the price I must pay serving my whatevergod...
12.07.2007
Replica
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The Darkest Lie
Come embrace the darkest lie...
Cigarette smoke. A story comes to my mind. A story of the love of a man and a woman. Of course, not everything is perfect. They have a 15 years difference. But that didn't stop neither of them to love like he never did in his life.
I can guess you are curious what happens with them in the end, but to understand that, you first have to read the story. Let's call him N., and her - Jhee.
N. was almost 34. A few days were left to his birthday when he met her - she was alone at the bar in the pub, a cigarette in her hand and a glass of alcohol in front of her. N. went closer and looked at her. He could still see tears on her round face, that left thin black lines. He sat on the bar next to her. Oh, how little was needed and he fell in love with Jhee...
The next few days they saw each other at the pub, they talked, but they didn't know the other's name.
- So, are you going to tell me your name, Stranger?
- Are you?
- I asked first.
- N.
- Jhee.
They smiled at one another and then, just like in a cheap Hollywood romance, a beautiful ballad played and he asked her to dance.
I guess you know what happened next. Jhee fell in love with him, though she is 18 and 34. No one approved of their relationship, her friends said she had no business with him and so on, and so on, but they stayed together.
A few months later Jhee didn't come to meet N., she didn't pick up her mobile, not her home phone. He went to her house. Went in and how surprised was he when in the corridor a path of rose petals and candles awaited him. He followed it to the bedroom. Opened the door and saw her on the bed - in a light lace nightgown, with a burning stare. She was lying there, innocent, embraced by passion. A tension fell over N., his senses felt only her. Her perfume...
And she closed her eyes...
And she gave wholly...
And she inhaled the unholy scent of passion...
If N. only knew he was embracing the darkest lie...
I remember how I woke up. I was there, in bed, in my darkest suit - that of the night. The memory of last night was devouring the truth.
And I closed my eyes...
And I gave into the memory wholly...
And I inhaled the unholy scent of passion...
I went up looking for her. I found drops of blood on the snow white bathroom floor. The trail led me to the kitchen... and there was Jhee... on the wall it was written in her blood "I love you Nathaniel" and she herself was lying breathless on the floor.
Then I, Nathaniel, made her a promise. I made it to myself, I made it to her. I promised to tell our story and show what consequences can love have. What power can it have... and how from a wonderful feeling it can turn into the darkest lie...
03.08.2007
Replica
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