Carnival of Rust

Jack woke up from the sound of raindrops on the bus window. He blinked to the light of the headlights of the car driving opposite and looked at the wet asphalt, then the naked field. Somewhere behind he heard the thunder of a storm. The band’s bus and the storm were racing with each other for a few hours, but at the last moment, just before the storm caught the bus, it managed to slip away.
He had no idea where around the world they were. He just knew they were away from his hometown and in a little less than 12 hours he was going to make hundred of fans happy with his voice.

Jack liked music. He would put everything he had in it, even his most private emotions. But for some time things were not going well. He slept very little and every time he tried to write, nothing good came. His thoughts were overwhelmed by a beautiful strange girl that came to him at night, in dreams. He didn’t know who she was or where she was… he had never seen her live. He pressed his forehead to the cold glass and closed his eyes. The rain was soothing. He saw her again, in her nightgown dancing in the rain and smiling at him… the headlights of the cars hid her for a moment and when she showed up again everything was different.
It was a dream, but everything was real. Jack felt her skin touching his, he smelled the scent of her fiery red hair, he saw her sparkling green eyes. He gave to his dream wholly, though he wanted to sleep without dreaming.

- Are we ready?
- You bet!
He smiled. He could hear the fans screaming their names in the hope they would see their idols sooner. He put his thoughts together, put them as far away from her as he could.
- Let’s go then.

The lights were blinding. Jack could barely see the audience. He didn’t like it when he didn’t have contact with them, the magic was gone… he knelt in the middle of the stage in hope that he would escape the lights at least a bit and dive into the darkness, see his fans. And his stare fell on her. The girl from his dreams. She smiled warmly, he smiled back and for a second it seemed to him she blew him a kiss. Jack stood up and she was hidden again.
The band was in the country for the first time, despite most of their fans were from there. They had a surprise for the audience.

- And now it’s time for something we decided to do as a tradition when we go to a country for the first time. Two of you, lucky guys, will be selected to spend tomorrow with us and show us around… - his words were lost in the screaming crowd. – I will come down to you and pick two people. The rest, I’ll meet you after the gig for autographs.

He put the mic on the stand and climbed down in the small space between the stage and the fences. He walked end to end, shook hands with fans, even signed a few CDs. And he was smiling, but not because of the attention he got, but because of her. Because he knew she was there and he was going to spend tomorrow with her.

Someone gave him a paper. He looked who and saw the green eyes from his dreams. Smiled and leaned to her. He hugged her almost unconsciously. He felt her hands on his back and her chest pressed to his. He whispered in her year “You’re the first.”, kissed her lightly on the cheek and walked away. He chose another girl, that started crying when he hugged her and didn’t stop until the end of the gig.

The rest of the gig passed for what seemed a moment. Jack didn’t remember the interview, or the countless pictures he took with fans, or the signed CDs and shirts, or even the little blond girl that told him she loved him. He remembered just her. Her eyes. Her smile. Her hands.

- Jack, they’re waiting for you.
- Coming, just a minute.
He signed a few more CDs, took a picture with two girls and then turned and walked back to the room, to her. The hall, at the end of which was the door, seemed endless. Time stopped, as if it wanted to torture him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Smelled her perfume. Opened his eyes. A step, just a step. He heard her laugh. An angelic laughter. Naïve like a child. Pure. Her laughter.

Jack went in the small room where the rest of the band, their manager and photographer were along with the two girls. He smiled at them and sat down.
- So you’re the lucky ones. We just need to settle some things about...
The words got lost. The room sank in darkness. There was just darkness and her body. Him and her. Darkness. A smile. He reached his hand out. She did too. They almost touched. Another smile. Just a little more…
- Jack!
He shook his head.
- Sorry, I’m tired from the trip and the gig. The audience was amazing. – he winked at the two girls and they giggled happily. – So, you’re going to show us around tomorrow. You have whole day. I’m Jack, by the way.
Everybody laughed. That laughter again. Naïve, pure, angelic.
- I’m Jesse. – she held her hand out to him. – Nice meeting you.
- I… I… I’m… uhm…
- Hey, we don’t bite, don’t worry. – the guitarist said and every one laughed again.
- I’m just nervous. I’m Lily. Nice to finally meet you guys.
Jack shook her hand, but his eyes were blind to everything except her. Her magical eyes. Sparkling. The black lining made them look even more amazing. Her lips curved in a warm smile.
The manager explained Jesse and Lily the schedule for tomorrow, told them what time they have to leave to be on time for the next gig, gave them the passes they needed, wished them good night and walked them to the door. He closed it behind them and turned to the band.
- Jack, what’s wrong with you? You don’t seem to be yourself tonight.
- Mhm.
- Do you hear me?
- Mhm.
- And can you say something different than “mhm.”?
- See you at the hotel. – he jumped off his chair, took his jacket and went out of the room.

Jesse went out of the club, arranged what time to meet with Lily tomorrow morning, said goodbye and walked her with a stare. Winter, Jesse was with a top, her jacket hanging on her purse. She took the pass out of it. Read it again.
The band name, the date, the time, the place.
The band name, the date, the time, the place.
It seemed unreal. She dreamt of meeting them for years
The band name, the date, the time, the place.
- I would say it’s better to put it away before some crazy fan beats you to get it.
She looked to the door. Jack was standing there with that smile she loved and which she dreamt of seeing live. She smiled.
- No way.
- You haven’t met a crazy fan, have you? Believe me, after what happened tonight you are being hated globally.
They both laughed.
- I guess not everyone can have what they want.
- Tell it to them… - he looked at her face and sank in her eyes.
Jesse was looking Jack in the eyes. The deep blue eyes. The eyes she dreamt of not once. The eyes that watched her last night, just before the rain started tapping on her window.
- Why are you here?
- I guess… I wanted to talk with you.
- Why didn’t you do it when we were inside?
- Overcrowded. Are you going home?
- In fact, I am… unless you plan on inviting me on a romantic candle lit dinner and then take me to your hotel room and make wild love to me… - she took a few steps toward him. – That’s how rock stars do it. – then she laughed. He laughed too. – Okay, maybe they miss the romantic part, but the idea is the same.
- Can I walk you to somewhere?
She shrugged.
- You can walk me to the apartment door, if you like – she smiled. – Shall we go?
Jack nodded and they went.

- Where are you going to take me tomorrow?
- I take it you mean where are WE going to take YOU tomorrow… we were thinking to take you…
- I meant where are you going to take me. You and me.
Jesse looked at him. He smiled.
- I thought it was US taking YOU around town.
- At least a coffee before we go. Please. I’m buying. – that smile, the one Jesse loved, was on his face.
- Coffee. 7 am.
- My room?
She stopped and looked at him suspiciously.
- Should I buy or do you have some in your room?
- I was thinking we would just talk, but if you want we can skip the first few dates and head to the physical part.
She laughed.
- I think I liked the coffee and talk plan more. This is where I live. – Jesse stopped in front of the door. – Thanks for walking me.
- For nothing. So tomorrow I wait for you at 7 with coffee?
- Make it a cappuccino.
- You have it. – Jesse smiled. He smiled back.
- I’ll call you a cab to the hotel. It’s late you need to get some sleep. – she took her mobile out and dialed a number. She called a cab in front of her building, thanked and hung up. – Cab will be here in 5 minutes. You want me to come wait with you?
- No, thank you. You did enough tonight.
He hugged her for goodbye. Felt her breathe on his neck. Felt her cold skin pressed to his. Felt her lips gently touching the corner of his. Felt her slipping away from his embrace.
- So tomorrow at 7. And don’t forget, cappuccino, not coffee.
- Cappuccino, not coffee. Sure. 7.
- That’s right. Good night.
- Good night.
He walked down the stairs and heard the lock clicking twice, then the door opened, closed and the lock clicked twice more.

Jesse stood to the window. She saw him get in the cab. She wanted to run downstairs, to run after the cab. To ask him home to warm up. To taste the corner of his lips, the lips. 7 am. The hotel room. A talk.
She poured herself a glass of vodka and drank it. She went for a quick shower and fell asleep right after on the couch. Woke up an hour later. Still 3. She sighed and tried to fall asleep again. The yes. The corner. What taste did his lips have? The smile. The eyes. The corner. The eyes. The smile. The lips. The eyes. The corner. The eyes…

Jack went into his room. Her eyes, her smile, her lips slightly touching his. He lay on the bed and imagined what he would say to her tomorrow. He soon fell asleep.

6:00. Two alarm clocks rang in two sides of town.
He opened his eyes.
She opened her eyes.
He got up an looked at his reflection.
She went in the batch room.
He went out of the room.
She put her shirt on.
He came back with coffee and cappuccino.
She locked the door from the outside and walked down the stairs.
He went in the bathroom.
She got in the cab.
He was dressing
She showed her pass to the girl on the desk.
He was sitting on the bed.
She was walking down the hallway.

617, 619, 621. She knocked. He looked to the door. Took a deep breath and opened. Jesse met him with a smile.
- Good morning! I hope you got what I wanted. – she entered the room, put her bag on the bed and took the cappuccino cup. – You’re amazing.
Jack smiled and took his cup.
She turned to him and hugged him. Felt his lips seeking hers. She pulled back a little. The eyes. The corner. What will they taste like? Smile. The eyes – the lips – the eyes – the lips. What taste? He leaned slightly and touched her lips with his own.

Jack locked his room and walked towards Jesse. They took the lift. They didn’t look at each other. She turned to the small mirror in the lift. He saw tears in the reflection.

Lily was walking next to Jack, in front, and was talking passionately. Jesse was behind them, walking slowly, hidden everything behind the black sunglasses.
- I’ve never seen him like this. – the guitarist said. – I’ve known him for years and I’ve never seen him like this. Obsessed. In love. Why?
- Because I can’t leave my life for him, no matter how much I want it. He’s a rock star, he travels, meets so many people, I won’t be able to bare the thought that someone else is holding him.
- And you’re going to kill him for that?
- Everything fades sooner or later.
She smiled a bitter smile and walked to Jack and Lily. He looked at Jesse and she smiled. A fake smile. She couldn’t smile a real one. Fake or none at all. She didn’t want to show him her tears. She didn’t know he already saw them. Her hand hit his lightly and her little finger caught his. She smiled again. Almost a real smile.

Lily took a picture with the band. Then asked for autographs. Hugs. The last. Goodbye. Jesse hugged everyone. She followed them with a stare while they got on the bus. Jack was the only one still standing there.
- Go. I don’t want to keep you.
He took her by the chin and lifted her face. Two damp black cuts ran through it. He smiled. A fake smile. He couldn’t smile a real one. Fake or none at all. He swallowed his own tears and hugged her.
Her body started shaking in his arms. She backed and took her glasses off. She was crying. She couldn’t hide the tears. He smiled. Almost a real smile. Swallowed again. And again. And again. Tears came to his eyes.

Two stares, the sparkling green and the deep blue, met. She stood on her toes and kissed him. Her lips touched his, at first gently, slightly felt, then as if two lovers were saying goodbye.

He went on the bus.
She put her glasses on.
He swallowed.
She swallowed.
He smiled. A real smile.
She put her fingers to her lips and blew a kiss.
He did the same.
She smiled. A real smile.

“…but when you’re reading this letter I would probably be in a different place, somewhere around the world. Know that I always keep with me the memory of two beautiful green eyes, forever in me.

P.S.: I love you.

Jack”

Jesse smiled. His eyes. His smile. The corner of his lips. Their taste…

15.04.2008 - 28.08.2008
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